Monday, August 27, 2012

How to Tell if He's the One

"You need to blog that. For single girls.", she tells me. 
So, I am. I will.

We had been talking about 
Of how to be found by one and how to wait patiently for one and how to decipher the codes
of knowing which one is The One. 

When I was young my Mother told me:
"The man you marry will treat you like a jewel."
At the time I probably believed that all Mothers told their daughters things like this.
I did not know then my Mother is Queen of Believing in Her Children
and I, her daughter am She Who Can Do No Wrong Virtually 100% of the Time
and that this is not always normal.
Actually, it's rarely the case.
At any rate, I am a blessed girl with the charmed gift of being raised by a Mother who
drilled into me:
"He'll be the One who treats you like a jewel. That's him."

Andrew showed up when I was 19.
He treated me like a jewel.
He still does.
We have a lovefest and we're best friends and I adore him and he still makes me drooly
and butterfly-filled and giddy with his killer wink and cockeyed smirk. (*swoon*)
I married him.
Ages ago.

(big breath
Sometimes he annoys the. fire. out. of. me. 
Lest you believe I am exaggerating and accuse me of being a MakeBeliefLifeBlogger 
 I will share the raw truth: the Husband is a slob. 
I mean, a roaring and unbelievable slob which 
for a girl whose father spent Saturday mornings walking her through the finer points of making a bed with hospital corners, 
this is a really huge deal.
He doesn't rinse his dirty dishes when he puts them into an empty kitchen sink, people.
They just sit there.
I mean: REALLY.
I normally can count 25 empty Gatorade bottles rolling around on the floorboards of his Honda Civic
where he's dropped them after swigging them down in one gulp.
He's an impossibly picky eater and I complain to him with plenty of eye-rolling
that he has the irritable stomach of a colicky newborn.
Furthermore, he never throws anything away. 
He simply cannot part with papers which have no value in our lives anymore: 
deeds to vehicles we no longer own and textbooks for subjects passed millenia ago in college.
Also, he has what I consider to be fairly lame taste in music most of the time. 
I pretty much want to nap when his playlist rotates through.
And since his Biggest Pet Peeve Ever is hearing someone elses's dreams I am forbidden from
sharing what I dreamed the night before even if it was epic.
For me? With all the words? This can be surreally difficult.
As you can see we have Our Issues.
I ought to point out that the Husband may have a couple gazillion points of contention with moi, too.
But God is gracious and in His grace He gave me a man who thinks I'm beautiful.
And he made men blind to flaws if a girl is beautiful enough.
So at least in my husband's eyes I get off the hook a whole lot of the time. 
And vice versa.
We are plenty different, the Husband and I to be sure. 
The man warrants his own FONT  for goodness sake.

But the two of us being completely opposite doesn't mean that he treats me any less like a jewel.

What I told her? What I said that she thought was bloggable was this:

A real man - the One...he is secure in his own ministry, 
neither resisting your advancement in the destiny God has for you 
nor competing with you.
(Here I mentioned a few names of men married to Powerhouse Women,
no Shrinking Violets or Mild-Mannered Sissys as examples.)
The One to keep your eyes peeled for is the Guy who enjoys watching 
his jewel SPARKLE and SHINE.

His words of praise are for you.

His defense is of you.
His preference is for you.
His delight is in seeing you bloom.
He won't hold you back from potential
rather he loves seeing you offered opportunities to be showcased.
He is proud of you.
The One will find such contentment in just the knowledge that you, precious woman of the Lord
are a prize that he intentionally delights in holding you up to the Light
and admires how radiant the Lord makes you.
And his satisfaction lies in being the Guy whose arm you leave on.
That's enough.
He doesn't have to prove it, doesn't have to brag about it - he's the Guy.
Probably he doesn't very often even talk about it.
But YOU are enough jewel for him and he works hard every day to prove it.

The One who should capture your heart and win your hand should be the Guy who 
is dazzled
without being rattled or threatened.

You are his jewel, that Guy who is the One.

Just the way you would gratefully beam at the most precious diamond on your left hand,
THAT is how the One will look at you.
He will treat you like a jewel.


  1. Replies
    1. Kelley, you are so good for my heart. xxoo Love you

    2. This is amazing! Thank you soo much. :) it really clears up things i was blinded by. But i am 16 and im waiting on my future hubby... what are some things i can do while im waiting on him??

  2. Just gave you a shout out on facebook...
    LOVE THIS POST! Love your heart, sweet friend! We really need to get together for coffee sometime soon! {I know, I know...}

  3. New here, thank you for this. Married 19 years this week and you put it beautifully what I could not say.

    Lori Kasbeer

    1. Lori, thanks you. I love that we can realte as women. Yay for feelings! ;)

  4. Hey, I just found this on Pinterest, and I couldn't help but ask, do you mind if I reblog this? It's exactly what I've been looking to say (except with a more teenager stand point). I'd obviously give you credit, and send people here to find more of your fabulous writing! Thank you for this! As a teenager, I needed this!

  5. I love this so much!! But first of all, let me introduce myself. My name is Brooke and Mandi Johnson is my big sister! I came across your blog on her Pinterest and got so excited, Mandi has told me so much about your beautiful family and I love you all just from what I've heard! And this post... these words are incredible. I needed this gentle reminder for my heart today, and I for one, am very happy your friend persuaded you to post it. I will definitely be following your blog from here on out, your words have refreshed my soul and are so, so encouraging. Thanks for being you and letting His light shine so radiantly!!