Thursday, June 28, 2012

Before, During, After, Beyond ~ Part 4 *Beyond*

For me, this is what it feels like Beyond the adoption of your child. 

If Before is sunrise,
 if During is noon,
if After is sunset,
then Beyond is dawn.





Beyond, for me, is a recounting.

Beyond is healing.
Beyond is calculating and coming up with leftovers when all is said and done.
Beyond is riches.
Beyond is gratidude.
Beyond is gathering.
Beyond is straightening.
Beyond is affirming.




Beyond shields your eyes from the glare to finally peer out.



Before there was anticipation and it was lovely.
During there was electricity and it was beautiful.
After there was restoration and it was sweet.
However.

Beyond there is awareness and it is breathtaking.

Adoption will split open your heart - whether foreign or domestic - 
and make you aware of things you simply cannot unlearn
even though life would be easier if you could.


Adopting "ONE" is not the only point of adopting
- and many adoptive parents I have known will agree.
All our babies are the "ONE" we were blessed enough to add to our own family tree 



and each is as special as 
a fingerprint
a zebra
a snowflake...



...Unique and Important and Enough.

But 
adding that "ONE" is not what Beyond is about anymore.

Adoption opens eyes.

Adoption reveals weaknesses.

It spreads awareness like ink spilling onto paper - indelible.

For a while, you think " well, good - everyone's really learning something here."

And all at once Jesus whispers again.
It's not a command this time to something big and courageous 
but rather a gentle rebuke, something small and personal.
He utters: "No, little girl. You. You needed to learn much here. 
This isn't so much about her needing you
but more about you needing her.
It's about more than her coming home.
It's about what's Beyond, too."





Today at roughly 15 months back home, Beyond has arrived and it is mercifully peaceful,
splendidly delicious,
and uncomfortably expectant.

Sometimes Beyond fades into

Again.


6 comments:

  1. As one in the process {during}, this is quite encouraging to read...thank you.

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  2. Ummmm . . . does *again* mean what I think it means?!

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  3. You still haven't explained that "in between" thing. Do you have a timetable. And I hope you know that you owe us a week. And I'm taking interest. : )

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  4. I just got caught up with your last several posts. I'm definitely using a box of tissues now. Your eloquence just quiets me, so sometimes after I read you it is hard to know how to comment. I have not been down this specific journey, but so much of this process; God's call, and the "before, during, and afters", are the same. My heart resonates so much with it. Thank you for taking the time to write these posts!

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  5. I so appreciate reading your description of each phase you experienced through your adoption. So helpful to hear an honest account of the ups and downs. We are at the very beginning of our adoption story (the accepting, praying for direction, asking questions, researching, saving money phase). I look forward to following your story as you consider "again"!

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