Friday, April 15, 2011

Two Days

It's starting to feel so real.
Regular life as we know it has officially ended -
the alternative schedule has begun.
The boys' doting grandparents arrived last night
so today has included:

and one over-stimulated blessed set of boys
 and one half-focused Mama.

My mind is racing today.

And I miss Andrew.
Days like today
 when normalcy is slipping through my fingers like sand I need him to stabilize me,
to do his half-smirk and wink.
To tell me: "Hey. It's okay. Be Radical. This just means we are on the right path. Jesus has us. We are going to keep walking. Calm down. Journal it."

(Although the first time he told me to "Journal it" as a way to calm my nerves?
Let's just say
I was not as grateful for that insightful encouragement.)

Tomorrow this pup:

will move to my dear friend's home for a few weeks.

And the last of our bags will have to be all packed and ready to go by 8:30AM Sunday morning.


Here's where I am:
Thinking about all that has to happen.
Before we leave.
After we've left.
Once we're gone.
While we're gone.
In order to come home.
Once we're home.

I peek behind the curtain of details and I am overwhelmed with need.

I feel weak.

I need Him.

I call out and I need Him.

So, here's where I stay:

" The LORD Almighty has sworn, Surely, as I have planned, so it will be,
   and as I have purposed, so it will happen." ~Isaiah 14:24

And I look forward to tomorrow because I suspect,
 since I have met myself  here before,
all of this will feel different
and I will be able to "laugh at the future". (Proverbs 31:25).

That's where I want to go.

I'll let you know.


  1. Love it Esty! Be Radical! See you soon!

  2. Deep Breath. =D

    Praying for you, sweet friend.

  3. Do you remember Hitchings saying once that if we only do things we can handle without the Holy Spirit that we are living a shriveled life. He is with you!
    "The LORD bless you and keep you;
    The LORD make His face shine upon you,
    And be gracious to you;
    The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
    And give you peace." Num. 6:24-26
    (I thought about "May the LORD God of your fathers make you a thousand times more numerous than you are, and bless you as He has promised you!" Deut 1:11, but I decided that might be a little premature!)

  4. The "boys' doting grandparents"? They better be ready to dote on a little girl too!! Yippeeee!!! You're getting a baby girl!!!